Lately I’ve had the songs from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog stuck in my head. I first heard about it the day before they showed it online for free and it had three parts. I loved it straight away, even if people thought I was crazy talking about it. Then it was only available to American’s I think and then you could buy it on itunes but I had no monies!

Fast forward to now and I’ve been youtubing some of the songs. My favourites are Laundry Day, Brand New Day, Slipping, A man’s gotta do and All you ever/The Nightmares real (the end song). I have been singing them in my head constantly for the past few days now, I feel the urge to sing them out loud, and normally at the most random lines. Such as, “That’s the plan. Rule the world. You and me any day. Love your day – What? – No no I love the er.. air” from Laundry Day when I’m in work… making drinks, ha yeah weird I know I am!

I looked online and it’s a lot more cheaper than I thought it would be to buy on DVD, I guess it has been awhile. I think I might get it after Christmas but I wants it now… but… if I stop spending so much money maybe I will. I’ve bought nearly all my Christmas presents. Just need to finish off my mums, get one Secret Santa present (we haven’t done it yet with them) and get my brother a different gift, he already had it >.< So yeah I want that, and since I’m on a Joss Whedon kick maybe the Firefly series. I loved the film Serenity and really want to see the series. It’s cheaper than I thought it would be too.

So yeah, I thought I’d spread the Dr. Horrible love, really late haha. I love how he’s a good/bad guy and the ending! I love it! Definitely not what you’d expect, or well I didn’t expect it. Also loving the evil Bad Horse, who is, in fact, a bad horse. I’ll leave you with the trailer, and a clip of Laundry Day, it’s so sweet Also! Check out the website here.

I never really wrote any more about Nanowrimo. This year I had a plot, a good one in my mind and I knew what I wanted to do. I started late re-started it after a week in, and then only wrote a few times. I still had intentions of finishing it though, and I got up to about 25k near the end of the month after not writing for ages. Life had got in the way. I’d started a new job and was either working, in uni, or sleeping. If I did have free time, I was too tired to start writing. I knew once I started writing I’d write loads, but I couldn’t start.

The last day of the month I planned on writing loads and hopefully writing after my shift and changing the time zone pretending I was American to allow a few hours since I had work. Then I got home and found out my cat had died, so I didn’t really feel like finishing up my novel, plus could I really have written the rest of the novel, 25,000 words in a few hours?

So I failed, like last year, which means that’s two things I’ve failed on my 101 mission. Next year I won’t though! Last year my friend won, I told her about Nanowrimo and that year everyone got free copies of their finished novels, not the year that I won (I’ve since lost that story, it sucked and wasn’t complete though anyway even if it was over 50k). This year that was the prize again and yeah, I wish I had a finished novel, and a hard copy of it in my hands. Hopefully I will do it next year!

I might try and finish my idea before then, or do a rough draft, like a detailed outline, there are things I want to change, a lot of things I want to change. Who knows, maybe this time next year I’ll have finished this, and have finished a new plot/sequel (maybe?) for next years Nanowrimo.

I “won” one year, and lost two years. Next year I want to properly win

Maybe if I write it here, I’ll bloody well do it. Or maybe not haha. I love to write to-do lists and have NEVER crossed everything off once… and I’ve been doing them since I was a kid! I have a few things I know I need to do, like three maybe, and I’ll probably remember more when writing it. Kinda like when I wrote my Christmas Wish list a few days ago. Or more like over a week ago. It’s a half assed post I suppose, but I want to post more and this is what I want to do.

1. Clean my pig sty room. It is a tip. What this really means is chuck a lot of stuff out. I can’t do that, I collect stuff, random useless stuff I don’t need. My mum calls me a Magpie. I like shiny things
2. Fix my wellies. Like now. Somehow. I need them for tomorrow where I’ll be up a giant hill with little kids in the rain and mud and they have holes in them and I don’t have time to get new ones! Or want to spend a £10 on them right now. Christmas is expensive enough as it is.
3. Sort out my lecture notes in order and write folders. This isn’t actually that bad, compared to how I was last year, that was really bad.
4. Write down books I need to get from library. Might buy one for research but just one, they all cost like £20 each
5. Start my assignment! This means, write down the title, question and outline of what I’m going to do. Baby steps.
6. Order two of my brothers presents already. I know what I want to get them.
7. Finish getting my mums presents.
8. Print out photos.
9. Organise outings with friends.
10. Book dates off work, and which days I’ll work. I have to work two days of Christmas Eve, Boxing day, New Years Eve and New Years day. I’d rather do Christmas Eve and New Years day. Mid shifts though.

I think I’ll leave it at ten again. I could think of more if I wanted to but this is it for now. I’ll try cleaning my room tonight, and put masking tape or something on those wellies.

I’ve seen this floating around on the internets on facebook and various blogs so thought I would try it for today’s post (I’m trying to write more). Here are 25 random facts about me.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. William Shakespeare

2. Where was your first kiss? By some traffic lights of a busy crossroads after our first date while our friends watched us and told us to “hurry it up” since him and his friends had a train to catch and me and my friends had a bus to catch… awkward!

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nope. I would feel so bad!

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? All the time! Friends, brothers… but playfully. I did lash out at an ex before, but I knew that it wouldn’t really hurt him because I am weak

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes… last time I did it on my own I was 11 and dressed up as the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland… then I was in the chorus for Oliver in year 9.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Um eyes, height and hair.

7. What really turns you off? Orange guys…. just say no to the fake tan man!

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Vanilla Frappachino. I try to deviate from that but I always regret it when I order something else. Unless it’s cold and its a hot chocolate yum.

9. What is your biggest mistake? Oh I have loads, but then if I didn’t do them, where or how would I be now? Most mistakes are to do with guys and friends though.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes, I had a nasty habit of picking scars when upset to distract myself, stupid.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I can bend my thumbs backwards and forwards

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yes, Kirsten Dunst when she had red hair (I had it dyed and styled like that) and sometimes Drew Barrymore.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Yesh, Disney = love.

14. Did you have braces? Nope, I was the odd one out!

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Hmm, my ex used to write me love letters

17. When do you know it’s love? This is tricky… its different for different people, but I do tend to believe you have to know them for a while, can be yourself with and can still be good after a crazy argument.

18. Do you speak any other languages? A little bit of Welsh, like tiny

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? Yes, but I didn’t go in and waited for my friend

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes, half the windows were broken but it was fun.

21. What’s something that really annoys you? Screaming 13 year olds on buses. That’s two days in a row now >:[

22. What’s something you really like? Milkshakes! I really want one right now

23. Can you dance? Ha! Is all I have to say on that!

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Never, my youngest brother and mum have though.

25. Tag 5 people! Well I’m not going to tag anyone but if you want to do this! You don’t have to tag me back, I didn’t.

What is up with December and so called friends acting like twats and being really mean to you? This happened last year. Mainly it was the flat mates but I was really down last year because of the way a LOT of people were acting.

This year, its happening again but with different people. Or maybe its just me? But I AM a happy person, it’s just people getting me down. I’m not really going to go into specifics of who said what, or did or how much etc as I might have done enough of that lately. I don’t feel the need to rant like a crazy person as I’ve calmed down and “sorted it out”.

First of all went out for my friends birthday and it was fun but there were a few problems at the end, and problems for a little while with leaving people out and it hurt my other friend way more than me, but I like the big group together so maybe that will sort itself out I’m hoping, but it is kind of like, oh thanks for not thinking *sarcastic eye roll*

My cat had also died so I’ve been feeling sad about that. She died a week ago today and I still keep thinking I’m hearing her, or expect to see her hopping over to me when I come home, or begging for food or looking to see her sleeping on her spot on the sofa when I walk past the living room and she’s not there. It sucks.  I’ve also not been having much sleep lately and oh surprise surprise I have a freakin’ cold. Again. I need to get healthier.

So there’s all that been going on and since I went back to uni, two of my “friends” have been treating me differently. Making me feel like crap and being mean. Not all the time, and I do get on with them and things are okay, and I was trying to not let it get me down. Sometimes I just brushed it off. I mean I’m stuck with them for the next year and a half in a small class where you do a lot of group work and travel in with them. But lately I’ve just had enough, I’d rather travel in alone and not see them outside of Uni and haven’t been doing much with them after uni like we used to, because they kept going home. So I saw other people.

So yeah, anyway I thought they were getting better and they were very mean on Friday and I snapped and the worst I said was “Fine fuck you then!” and I don’t tend to swear at people like that, so they knew I was pissed. I ignored them for the rest of it, and was really mad and upset and told some other girls in our group how I felt. Not trying to split the group up but to say Oh I fell out with so and so, but I was really upset and they could see that and tried to make me feel better.

Anyway I thought, I don’t want to ignore people when I’m angry or hurt any more, I’m trying to change that. I said Hi to them today and said I wasn’t going to apologise and tried to explain why, but they didn’t get it at all or thought they had done anything wrong. So I give up. I’ll be friendly with them but not friends.

I am proud of myself for saying hi though. It might not be a big deal or whatever, but as I said before, I usually ignore people, which is childish. But I’m not going to apologise, and they tried saying I was mean to them that its both ways. And her example was that I try to control the group work sessions. That is how I am “mean” I don’t think its the same thing as being a bitch ha! I don’t, sometimes I might when they aren’t doing work, but most times I try to go with the flow, not actually putting in that much effort when I’m lazy or tired, which can be a lot. Not good I know, but it shows I can’t control everything. What’s funny is she doesn’t realise that she lets the other one control her life. Well not so much funny as sad.

Hmm maybe I do still sound angry and hurt. I am but not, that much. This is more a whiney post than a ranty one though. I’m just hoping this doesn’t become a December tradition.

Since it’s the first of December I thought I’d share my Christmas Wish List. These things are things I am not getting for Christmas, hence the wish part. Maybe Santa will read it and get them for me? I have been a good girl this year. What I’d really like is for my cat to be still alive, but I doubt Father Christmas could fix that for me. So… I haven’t actually thought much about it so it’s of the top of my head, but here is my Christmas Wish List.

1. A super dooper proper big fancy camera with lots of lens! And a bag. This won’t happen as I break stuff very easily. I’m getting a cheapish digi cam for Christmas, been cameraless for most of the year.
2. One of those new nano iPod videos with like 16gb? In blue or pink or purple. My 4gb one doesn’t have enough memory and isn’t colourful. Sad times.
3. Rollerblades. Me and a friend used to go roller blading every summer. Then my brother chucked them all out when he was clearing the garage and I still haven’t got new ones yet. Pretty expensive for good ones.
4. A car! I’m going to save up for one and hopefully have a car and pass my driving exam before I turn twenty in April.
5. A laptop that doesn’t shut down all the freakin’ time. I’ve only had a year, but I break stuff easily, which sucks.
6. Around the world tickets! My best friend is going to travel around the world for 5-6 months with her boyfriend. I am insanely jealous.
7. Clothes vouchers and a bigger room to keep all the new clothes in. I have a tiny room with a tiny wardrobe and a girl always needs new clothes. I just wish I could chuck away things I don’t wear, but what if I need it!?
8. All of the film and TV adaptations of Jane Austen’s work. For some reason I can’t get enough of the ones I do own.
9. The rest of the John Marsden’s Tomorrow series. I have the first two books and I need the other five.
10. A sewing machine! Preferably with some skills with it too! I want to make my own bags, clothes, presents etc. Again my friend has one and is pretty nifty with it and I am insanely jealous. Plus she’s the one previously mentioned so I kinda hate her. Only joking… maybe.

So! I think I’ll leave it at ten things because, most of the things I want are books or DVD’s or some other random things I can’t think of right now. Even though I won’t be getting any of those for Christmas, I’m still getting lots of cool stuff that I want. And I’ll just have to save up to get all of the above!

I loved her so much, probably too much she was never a lap cat so hated being held. But she would patiently wait while you held her and then as soon as she saw an opening she would make a run for it. She loved her ears, head and neck to be scratched and only her belly when she was really warm stretched out in front of the fire in Winter or the Summer sun. We were not allowed to stroke the back end of her back near her tail or her legs though, those were a no go area and she would give you a little bite as a warning.

Even if she was hyper and annoyed and full on crazy she would never scratch you like in the face or anything. She only scratched my mum and me on our hands as we would play with her (trying to get her to exercise) and she knew we wouldn’t hurt her. Sometimes she would groom me. Give me a quick bite and start washing me.

She was spoilt, mainly because of my mum and me. I always used to feed her food off my plate, especially meat. I didn’t like meat so I’d give it to her, and when I started eating quorn she’d beg for some, sniff it and then turn her head away, like I seriously tried to give her fake meat? What was  I thinking?!

She always slept on my mums bed and got up in the morning with her but lately she had changed and has been very stressed out and always outside keeping the cats off her property. She always seems to be manic and obviously we noticed something wrong with her back, weird noises and she hadn’t eaten for a few days.

I went to uni today and then to work until 10pm. I was on concessions for the first time and it went pretty well for my first time. I then had to wait 40 minutes for the damn bus in the cold after my shift, it was there, waiting down the road but wasn’t ready yet and my mum came to pick me up from where I get off the bus.

I knew she was taking her to the vets today, so as soon as my mum said she had bad news, I knew Kitty had been put down. My mums eyes were red and sore and our cat was her little baby. Its the same in most families really. Well that I know of, their pets are their babies. Kitty used to follow my mum around everywhere and my mum was so used to her sleeping on the edge of the bed it’ll be so weird for her.

I know we talked about the possibility of her being put down today but that was meant to be the absurd worst case scenario thing. I honestly thought she might have some antibiotics or whatever and get better but no. The vets said she had been dying slowly for awhile now, the stress of the new cats probably sped it up, and that she might have even caught an infection from when she got run over years ago.

He said that cats tend to hide things from their owners, my mum feels guilty that no one noticed she had been in pain for so long. But she was acting like normal, except a bit crazy because of the new cats. She’d lost weight and she had liver failure. He said nothing could be done to save her, and my older brother had taken my mum and Kitty to the vets.

I hate that I didn’t get to say goodbye. I would have gone but I had work. The last time I saw her was for a second this morning before I left for uni. She was sitting behind the tv and I actually said “Bye Kitty! I love you!” but I didn’t get to hug her one last time. It probably would have hurt her. I wish I had more photos too. I have lots on my phone, of her weird body positions to show people how weird she is, and I had lots of my old laptop, but I lost everything. So I just have a few which I’ve posted throughout this.

I know, its probably not a big deal to most people and they’ll think I’m over reacting, but people who love their pets will know what I mean. We had her Christmas Eve eight years ago and we lost her just before December. I suppose the good thing is she’s not in any pain any more, but it just hurts to think she won’t be there any more, begging for food or purring when you scratch her head. If I cried for all the hamsters I had, then I’m going to cry for my cat. My little quirky tripod crippled kitty cat.

I think my cat might have to be put down, hopefully she won’t be but we don’t know what’s wrong with her.

I remember on Christmas eve eight years ago my mum and her friend brought home a black cat. Her friend had seen her wandering the streets and said she thought she was a stray so my mum cat-napped her. We did put adds in papers and stuff like that and a few people came to see but she wasn’t anyone’s cat so we kept her. I remember she brought the Christmas tree down trying to climb it, so every year after that we had to tie it to the mantle piece or something.

A few years later a motorbike ran her over. I heard it but didn’t think about it until she limped into the house, and her tail was bloody and the fur was ripped off her leg and you could see the bone and all the blood. It was horrible. We took her to the emergency vets and they had to get rid of her back leg and tail. She was fine though, a bit of a limp and she’s been good for years. Her back leg sort of centred into the middle when she hops and she could run really fast. It’s a bit freaky to see her trying to scratch her ear with the leg that isn’t there any more, and her stump of a tail wiggles when she’s angry or hyper. I’m used to my little tripod, and to me its weird stroking cats with tails.

So since she’s a three legged cat with no tail that’s why we’re worried. Some new cats have moved in (with their owners) in the next two houses to us and she’s gone very territorial and out all the time chasing them in the rain and the cold and we think she’s done something to her back leg. She’s sitting weirdly and makes weird noises and she doesn’t look right between her spine and her back leg. So hopefully it’s nothing and can be fixed easily, but I’m scared it’s worse and that she’d have to be put down. We always knew she’d have a shorter life but I’m hoping it’s not now. I love my little cat, even if she only gives us some love when she’s hungry.

I’m veeerrry tired and I should be sleeping right now and I forgot to write yesterday, but technically today is yesterday since its past midnight and I’m just going to lie and change the time from 01:38 to…. 11:38! Since its the same day for me and I haven’t gone to bed yet! I so wish I had.

I woke up at 7something crazy o’clock! Went to uni, had a few lectures, had a discovery/volunteer meeting, saw my nana and her co worker for awhile, did some shopping and went to work. From 6-11:30pm. I needed to leave at like 10:30 and a guy I had just met said he’d stay on an extra hour for me so I could leave and then he uh, didn’t. And it was too busy to let me go so I had to beg teh mother to drive 30-odd minutes in the night and rain (and roads she hates! and she’s normally sleeping at 11:30 you know!) to come and get me.

I worked yesterday and will be working tomorrow form 10am to 6pm so opposites of today really. Omg I really need to sleep. I got home after midnight and literately showed and ate food and its already almost 2am! My legs ache and my feet but I’m wearing my brand new slippers!

Slipper love <3 They make me happy and they are sooo comfy! £12 from New Look but I had 10% discount and I don’t normally wear normal slippers since they are so easy to take off etc. I love wearing my knitted boots and fake uggs around the house and now I have slipper versions so yay! I also bought bow headbands. One’s for an early Madonna type look for my friends 80’s themed party and one was half price since I was buying the other, a smaller grey one which I already have in green.

Now I really am going to bed, yay sleep =]

I am alive I swear! I’ve just been ill or busy, or you know, lazy! Need to work on that last one, but I have been ill and tired and sleeping and busy.

I have a job again! At a cinema yay! I randomly checked online if they had anything while checking out film times. If they do its only for a few days and I think I saw the online application form on the first day it went up. So I applied, and a few days later I got a phone call.

Now, remember, I’ve been ill! I had a bad throat for about two weeks and for about three days I didn’t have a voice at all! So odds are, that’s when a potential employer will phone me (he emailed some, phoned others, why couldn’t he email me?). I can’t even really remember what I said, I had to whisper and say, “sorry I have a sore throat!” but it was fine and then I had an interview a few days later. Luckily my voice came back by then, phew and in the interview he remembered I had no voice and laughed, but it meant he remembered me so that’s good? I don’t think he really remembered that many people since it would have been a few.

I was nervous for the interview, in my last job I didn’t really have an interview, and I’ve only had them for college and/or uni so there were a few people there too. I hung out with my ex flatmate before we went, and probably annoyed him by asking if I looked okay and presentable about a hundred million times I swear. I saw my friend and her boyfriend just before I went in when I was on my own so that was good.

Anywho he told me I’d find out by the weekend, but I got an email days before that so I emailed him back and oh induction the week after and hello I have a job! It was all pretty fast (to me anyway) considering I was just looking there on the off chance so I feel lucky. The places I applied to via handing in CV’s didn’t contact me at all. Except one place. I handed my CV in a mere hour or two after my friend at Paperchase. She got the job I didn’t. Then they phoned me weeks after since they needed someone for Thursdays and I could do them except for once a month (uni) and the manager said she’d get back to me and she didn’t and it went to someone else after they put a new “Jobs available” sign out, grrr *shakes fist*.

I’ve done Indcution, where three other guys were starting. I got on with one really well, the only one my age 19, there was a 21 year old who was nice but a bit quiet and a 24 year old who…well, he’s okay but… the way he was acting seemed like he’s a tricky person to get along with and work with, but I haven’t seen him since.

We were all scheduled to work on different days or same day different shifts and I was first, on the weekend. The weekend after New Moon (which I’ve seen and might write about soon) opened, and omg the people! Everyone kept saying to me “You picked a great time to start work here” to me. It was maaard.

I’ve done two shifts and half the time I spend cleaning the screens with others and you only have a little time to do that between film showings, and the other half standing at gate collecting peoples tickets and telling them where to go. Its all right. I am either boiling or freezing depending on what I’m doing and I should have till training on concessions next week, eeek. Oh I did screen checks the other day and I am so glad I’ve already seen New Moon, because it was showing at the same time in about five screens. So each time I’d walk into the next screen I’d see a section twenty or so minutes ahead of the last screen I went into.

I get on with the people I’ve seen, mostly different people but its only been two days and there’s one girl who was there for both and she’s really nice. Let’s see what else. I’ve only had a few annoying/angry people and I get others to help! Oh some young girls wanted to see a 15 and they didn’t have ID on them and got reaaally aggressive and luckily the security guard was there so I sort of shifted backwards haha. The radio scares me! I cut my hand in the middle of my palm on my right hand and I’m right handed >.<. I’ve only seen one person I know and he’s like a friend of a friend there. There’s a cute guy working there (who I’ve been served by before) but I still haven’t met him yet. A girl I know from college works there and I talked to her nan, and a girl from my school works there. She messaged me but she only works one day a week and I haven’t done that yet.

Perks of it are good. Moula! For one, I get more than I did at the Supermarket so that’s good, also once a month I get free tickets which I can give to family and friends (only when its like not that busy). Free promotional shirts you can keep after a film comes out, 25% off food and drinks and staff previews! I can see a big film the night before it comes out and invite two people if I want. Other good things are they have staff nights out etc, and there’s a lot of people my age as opposed to the supermarket, so it’ll be easier to get on with people. Not that I didn’t there, but I felt really young sometimes and I was usually on my own working, when I’ll only be on my own sometimes at gate.

Well this is a massive post! I’ll wrap it up with another (probably giant) paragraph saying I’ll try to write more, like every day for the rest of this month. I’ve been meaning too but life got in the way. Also my last post was about Nanowrimo and well…. I’m waaay behind on that. Damn you life, I want a free copy of a finished novel that I wrote! That doesn’t suck like it will do waay more if I try to catch up now. I’m working tomorrow, Friday, Saturday and Monday so not much time to catch up in the next few days really. I might write more about work another time, and oh yeah! Christmas is a month away today!!! Can you believe it! Yay I love Christmas and not just for the presents =D